I'm Not A Vampire
by Death of 4
Summary: Fliqpy isn't a vampire, but he sure as hell feels like one. Especially when it comes down to hunting his favorite prey. He's insane and it's coursing through his veins. Splendid isn't a zombie, but when it comes to proving justice to two twins and saving his damsel in distress, he sure feels like one. His self-induced comatose, that chemical daze, he's dead. FxF, SxF Oneshot.


A/N: Based on I'm Not a Vampire by Falling In Reverse, I suggest you listen to it though. I love the song, it just matches Fliqpy and Splendid perfectly.

Disclaimer: I do not own HTF or FIR.

Pairings: Fliqpy/Flippy, Splendid/Flippy

Flippy cowered in the dark corner of his room, isolated and terrified. Blood covered his face, his dead friends' corpses laying out on the yard. Bones and organs filled his room, intestines trailing outside, and to think he did it all. But wait. No, it wasn't his fault. It was Fliqpy's.

He caused the bloodbath, he was bloodlust. Loves the blood on his skin, loves to see people cringe in pain, loves to kill them over and over. That's who he was. He's not him. He's not him. He's not him.

"He's not me. He's not me…" Flippy repeated while rocking his still intact body. He's gone insane, he can feel it coursing through his veins, feel it in his bones. Mind now lost, somewhere in the darkness that has taken control over him. The screams and cracking of bones were imprinted his brain, repeating themselves over and over. A broken tape record.

Footsteps echoed through the house, no more screaming, no more crying, silence. A voice rang out, singing crazily, "I'm insane, I can feel it in my bones, coursing through my veins, when did I become so cold~" Flippy jumped and tried to vanish into the wall. Eyes wide and cowering, he pressed his back into the wall more and more.

The door crashed open with a bang. Flippy stared at Fliqpy who in return laughed insanely. "Gotta make a grand entrance, after all, I am insane!"

Bowie knife in hand, blood dripping continuously off, he whipped it around the air, mimicking how he killed his good side's friends. He shouted at Flippy's face, "Attention! Attention everyone! I got a couple of things I'd like to get off my chest." Flippy whimpered as his villainous side trotted around the bloodied room, shouting at nothing, yet Flippy knew the words were meant for him.

"Haha! Friends! Who the fuck needs them? That's right, you know who you are! Ahem." Fliqpy stalked his way to the horrified Flippy. "Why do you have friends when you know I'll kill them all?" He said playfully, trailing his knife around Flippy's neck, leaving red blood marks. Flippy shook his head slowly, covering his ears. Fliqpy laughed, grabbed Flippy's face and brought his ear to his mouth.

"I love blood so much, I feel like a vampire. But I'm not, I just love it," he proceeded to lick the trails of blood he left on his good side's neck. Flippy squirmed and attempted to push the man off but failed. "I hate the sunlight, it's just too bright and happy. And you know how I hate happiness," Fliqpy laughed loudly.

Flippy lost all hope of getting rid of his evil side, lost all hope of living, if home is where his heart was then he's lost all hope. The insanity and darkness Fliqpy brought upon him continued to manifest off him, control him, devour him.

Fliqpy wanted Flippy as his own, needed him, ached for him.

"My hands are always shaking, my body always aching, dying to kill. And the darkness is when I kill," he let those words linger in the air, making sure his good side heard them, absorbed them into his mind.

"Well, and you see, I can lure any woman that I want to in my bed with me," Fliqpy seductively whispered, licking his good side's ear. Flippy gasped and squirmed in discomfort, this was too much. Too much for his mind to handle. Yet, for some reason, Flippy felt to take comfort in those strange words. He liked it. No, he loved it.

"And my holy water seems to be whisky, right?" Fliqpy knew he was breaking the weak male. He was beginning to succumb.

"I'm insane. I can feel it in my bones, coursing through my veins… when did I become so cold?" Fliqpy smirked, "For goodness sakes! Where is my self-control!?" Fliqpy roughly grabbed Flippy's face into his hands. Flippy whimpered yet didn't resist. Fliqpy chuckled and licked Flippy's cheek, slowly and lustfully. Flippy squirmed, the texture felt foreign on his skin, yet the way it felt just turned him on. He moaned, leaning into the strange sensation.

Fliqpy took his tongue back, he breathed into Flippy's mouth, the warmth making both of them need more. Flippy eyes felt heavy and hazy as he stared into the menacing eyes of his other side. He felt weak and vulnerable in the clutches of his evil's side, yet it felt good. He wanted more.

Flippy wrapped his arms around Fliqpy's neck, pulling their bodies closer. Flippy never felt like this before, so lust filled it hurt. Fliqpy chuckled and pulled Flippy into a rough kiss. Their lips clashed with one another's, tongue's twisting and swerving between one another.

They broke the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting their lips. Fliqpy smirked, "You're mine, now. I'm the vampire and you're my prey."

And with that, the vampire tackled his lust filled prey to the red stained floor strongly showing his love.

…

He ran, breathing harshly, the heat piercing down on his body. His dog tags clanking, clinging together, the only things he heard were his footsteps, his breathing, and the sound of laughing. His heart hurt, his legs, he couldn't take it anymore. The laughing seemed to get louder by the second, his breathing harsher, his heart beating faster.

"You can't outrun us!" The voice of Lifty rang out. Shifty cackled, followed by his younger brother. Flippy stopped running, he couldn't run any longer. He collapsed on the dirty ground, his head hurt and everywhere he looked, it seemed surreal.

He gasped, begging for air, yet it seemed that none came. Lifty and Shifty approached him, Flippy attempted to crawl away, clutching the possession they wanted. "Finders keepers, losers weepers, right?" Shifty spoke, yet to the veteran it sounded sluggish and distant. Flippy crawled backward, yet gasped when his back hit a rusty fence. The laughing terrified him, it sounded evil, intimidating.

Lifty nodded at Shifty, having come to an agreement, then proceeded to grab the weakened male's arms. The younger kleptomaniac twisted his arms around to send a scorching pain through Flippy's arms. He screamed. A crack echoed through the air, and the pain intensified. Screaming and struggling, Flippy attempted to break his unbroken arm free of the grasp. Shifty frowned in distaste as the screaming continued.

He kneeled in front of Flippy and growled, "You better shut up, or I'll make you wish you never crossed paths with us." Flippy eyes widened and although the pain in his arm made him cry, he tightened his grip on the item. Shifty scoffed and stood back up, cracking his knuckles. Lifty cackled, and Flippy whimpered.

Flippy knew they would kill him. Nothing would stop them from killing someone with something they wanted. They craved money, they loved to steal. The twins were evil in their own way. And when it came down to sacrificing one another, they wouldn't even hesitate. They were sick in their own way, yet they would never stop.

Stopping would mean losing, and they hated to lose.

Shifty raised his arm, sending his fist speeding its way to impact with Flippy's face. Flippy whimpered and closed his eyes for the impact. Yet it never came.

A figure cloaked in blue had intruded. The man called Splendid had come to the rescue. Splendid grabbed Shifty's arm, stopping the impact. Flippy thought the two thieves would have cowered and yelled, yet thought twice when they both grinned. Lifty cackled loudly and Splendid hesitated. Shifty smirked and proceeded to use his unoccupied hand to reach into his pocket. A glowing shard of green substance found its way out, Flippy stared at it wondering if it was dangerous, yet Splendid already knew.

The brothers cackled as Splendid released his grip on Shifty. They escaped, laughing all the way back home, leaving the green substance on the ground. Silence engulfed them both, Flippy was still in pain but kept his pain filled whimpers to a low volume. Yet as the green haired male looked up at the hero, he recoiled.

Splendid was in excruciating pain, the kryptonut was his worst enemy. He paled as his stomach waste flooded its way into his mouth, he had no choice but to release it onto the ground. His muscles weakened and felt sluggish. Splendid looked at the whimpering male. Splendid had come to his rescue in hopes of, you know, rescuing him yet his plan failed when the shard of kryptonut had found its way onto the ground.

Splendid had loved Flippy for a long time, always hoping that one day he could come to his rescue, and today was the day. Until the kleptomaniac twins had revealed that they still had a piece of kryptonut with them. The fact that Flippy would see him vomiting and releasing his stomach fluids pained him. But today, he would, no matter what obstacle, pronounce his love to the ex-veteran. That is, if he can somehow get back on his two feet.

Flippy felt sick at the view of the vomit, Splendid had been throwing up for the past two minutes non-stop. He saw every singly detail at how Splendid would gag then throw up some more stomach fluids. Flippy inched his way backwards, hoping to get away from the sick hero. Splendid saw the smaller male back away in disgust, it hurt his pride, he tried to grab the kryptonut, but found that he couldn't move. His legs collapsed under his weight and he fell into his pool of vomit. His muscles pulsed in pain and his mind felt foggy as it pulsed strongly, it felt horrible. It felt like his mind was going to explode.

Flippy groaned in pain as he moved his broken arm to move back, but stopped moving when he saw the hero fall into his own vomit. He gulped and stared at the hurting hero. He couldn't just leave him there… wasn't that shard causing him this pain? Flippy nodded hastily to himself and looked around for it, to try to send it away from them, yet the shard was hidden. Vomit covered the field, the shard hidden in it and although Flippy was grossed by this display of sickness, he stuck his hand in the vomit with a whimper and tried to search for it.

Tears filled his eyes, his hand filthy with fluids. He whimpered continuously as he searched through the vomit. Splendid looked up, seeing Flippy search through his own filthy germs killed him inside, seeing Flippy's eyes brimmed with tears made him want to vanish, but to see Flippy making this effort to save him made him feel happy. He smiled a bit, yet vomit covered his face, hiding it. He wanted to thank Flippy for doing that, mustering his last bits of strength he attempted to crawl his way to the whimpering male.

Splendid reached his filthy hand to Flippy's, stopping him in his desperate search. Flippy gasped when he felt the hand contact. He looked down at the hero, whose smile shone brightly, even through the mud-like fluids. Flippy smiled back, his tears on the brim of falling. Their hands tightened. Vomit covered both their bodies, yet neither cared.

Splendid slowly, painfully sat up beside the tearful Flippy. Vomit trailing down his chin, Splendid caressed Flippy's face. "T-thank you," his deep voice was sluggish and when he spoke, vomit only came out. But Flippy understood him, "If I could I would keep searching, but we both know that's a meaningless search to conduct," Flippy said softly. Splendid shook his head, "I-it wasn't a… m-meaningless search… y-you tried," Splendid brought his face closer to Flippy's. Flippy didn't even recoil back. The hero needed his moment. The hero needed to finish his rescue mission, he needed to get his damsel in distress.

Flippy could smell the fluids, it was a strong smell, yet he only breathed it in more. He wrapped his filthy, unbroken arm around the weak hero, "You saved me, and we all know how this ends," he paused, smiled, and brought his lips closer to Splendid's, "the damsel in distress falls for the hero who saved her."

They kissed, the vomit tasted so strongly, yet Flippy only kissed harder. Splendid closed his eyes, the love he needed, wanted from Flippy was taking him away. He loved Flippy so much, and realizing that his love hadn't run away from the grotesque view of him, he was glad. So glad. He kissed back with a burning passion.

He needed Flippy so bad, he lusted for him constantly. Now, he really couldn't hold it back. No matter how sick he was, he was going to take the small male.

Splendid pushed Flippy onto the vomit filled floor, running his hands all over Flippy's body. Flippy moaned at the touch, he wrestled with Splendid tongue, although Splendid easily took over. Flippy felt lustful, lustful for the fallen hero.

"I'm n-not a…zombie, b-but I s-sure as hell… feel like one," Splendid began as he looked down at Flippy. "T-this… self-induced c-comatose…" he slurred out. Flippy listened, as the vomit fell on his face. "C-chemical daze… my head is always s-spinning from this d-dizzy blurry vision," he continued, explaining how this felt, the feeling of kryptonut.

"I feel like a l-lady that's p-pregnant with a b-baby, cause I-I'm always…throwing up," Splendid finished, fluids falling from his mouth into Flippy's, yet he only proceeded to swallow it. Flippy grinned and whispered, "Am I the father?"

Splendid chuckled and kissed the other male. The vomit traveling down their throats as they swallowed it. They continued to kiss, turning and switching positions on the filthy ground, covering their clothes in fluids and filth. Yet neither cared, why should they?

This was their loving, lustful moment together, and they craved it. They needed it, wanted it, and though things turned filthy, it just turned them on even more. They grinded their hips together, moaning.

"Let's take each other," they whispered.

…

A/N: I feel bad, because Fliqpy's story was only a page and a half. Splendid's was two pages and a half. Eh, oh well. I don't care anymore. Again, this based off I'm Not a Vampire by Falling In Reverse, some other song lyrics mixed in.

Enjoyed? Then please review. Didn't like it? Don't. Say. A. Word.


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